Raising a “Normal Eater”

Recently, in my conversation with dietitian Leah Kern on her podcast “Shoulders Down,” I shared this sentiment: “I would rather raise a normal eater than a healthy eater.”

Here’s the thing, in many circles, eating “healthy” has come to mean ascribing to a binary in which goodness and value are attached to a particular style of eating, and badness, guilt, and shame are attached to others. It has come to mean eating for performance needs only – “optimization” seems to be the buzzword du jour – and not considering the role of food for comfort and joy and connection and play. It has come to be understood as the sole contributor to overall health. And it perpetuates anti-fat bias and is a primary cause of disordered eating and eating disorders.

So yeah, if that’s what we mean by “healthy,” I don’t want that. And I sure don’t want that for my kids.

✨I want to raise kids who understand their bodies’ cues, can identify when they’re hungry, and allow themselves to eat to fullness and satisfaction.

✨I want to raise kids who unapologetically enjoy food – so many kinds of food. All of the food! I want to raise kids who are curious eaters and who – eventually! without pressure! – choose foods that surprise and delight them…but also, who can go to town on some gas station snacks with freedom and joy.

✨I want to raise kids who are skeptical of destructive diet messages and their counterparts in the beauty and fitness industries. I want them to know deep in their bones that they are good just as they are and that the wisdom of their bodies is more reliable than any outside “expert.”

✨I want to raise kids who give some thought to food: enough that they have access to what feels good in their bodies, but not so much that it causes them anxiety or stress or takes too much time out of their full lives.

✨And I want my kids to have full lives. Lives that are not contingent on their size or constrained by their diets.

This way of relating to food isn’t neat or marketable. It’s inexact and always changing, depending on so much, like time and money and mood.

But this way of relating to food is normal. And this is what I want for my kids.💛

*Adapted from Ellyn Satter’s “What is Normal Eating?”